Martin Fleming Coaching Business :: Health :: Relationships

What is Relationship Coaching?



Relationship coaching is a professional client-focused service where an individual or couple is assumed to be healthy, powerful, and able to achieve relationship goals with effective support, information, and guidance.

People have a powerful need and desire for coupling that drives us into and out of relationships. In recent times people seem to have developed a "need" to be happy and have a decreasing tolerance for delayed gratification. When we are single, we want to be in a relationship. When we are in an unhappy relationship most of us attempt to improve it and eventually leave if it doesn't get better.
A generation or two ago, men and women dated, married, had families, and rarely divorced. Everyone seemed to know the rules and followed them. "Fulfillment" was not a priority and unhappiness was not cause for divorce. Then our society changed; the rules changed; life and relationships became much more complex.

The need for relationship coaching is significant today because of some or all of the following reasons:

• There are more single people today than ever in history - 82 million in the U.S., 40% of the adult population (28% in 1970)
• Over 25% of households are single occupant households
• 53% of households are married couples
• The marriage rate is decreasing, and is at its lowest in 30 years
• The divorce rate has remained stable since 1988
• While the exact divorce rate is a matter of debate, experts agree that somewhere between 40 and 60% of all marriages will end in divorce, and that for every
marriage there is about one divorce
• Co-habitation is increasing and becoming the norm, whereas 40 years ago it was a rare occurrence
• The percentage of young adults who say that having a good marriage is extremely important to them is increasing (94% in one study)
• The majority of first-born children are now conceived by, or born to, unmarried parents
• Half of all children will spend some time in a single parent family
• Children who live in single parent families have a higher incidence of behavioral problems, likelihood of dropping out of school, drug or alcohol abuse,
and divorcing later in life
• 43% of first marriages end within 15 years
• 39% of remarriages end within 10 years
• More than 85% of all adults marry at least once
• Second and third marriages have a higher incidence of failure


The relationship coaching is organized around 5 identifiable Stages Of Relationships:

1. Self-Discovery and Readiness Coaching - This addresses the questions: "Who am I?" "What do I want?" and "How do I get what I want?". The Coaching activities may include:

• Identifying and eliminating Limiting beliefs
• Identification of life goals and needs
• Clarify Vision, Requirements, Needs, and Wants
• Assessing Relationship history for patterns
• Personality assessment (traits, values, preferences, etc)
• Development of Core Relationship Competencies
• Develop profile of Life Partner
• Develop "Relationship Plan" to manifest/attract Life Partner

2. Attraction/Dating Coaching - This focuses on effective dating skills and activities. The coaching activities may include:

• Where and how to meet potential life partners
• Becoming ready for a committed relationship
• Effectively meeting people, developing networks, sorting potential partners
• Staying on track with your Relationship Plan

3. Pre-Commitment/Pre-Marital Coaching - This helps new couples become conscious and objective about the future of their relationship, and coaching
activities may include:

• Become clear about whether this relationship is right for you
• Getting a reality check, being accountable to what you want
• Developing strategies for testing, decision-making
• Addressing emotional and compatibility issues

4. Couples Coaching - This helps a committed couple to co-create a functional Life Partnership, and activities may include:

• Getting a committed relationship off to a good start
• Effective communication and conflict resolution skills
• Discovering and overcoming issues and obstacles around functional needs, such as parenting, domestic responsibilities, finances, etc.
• Identifying and negotiating mutual wants, needs, and goals

5. Bliss Coaching - This helps a committed couple with a functional relationship deepen their emotional intimacy, trust, love, and connection, and
activities may include:

• Increasing authentic expression of thoughts, feelings, wants, needs
• Ownership of emotional reactivity
• Increasing mutual support, trust, safety around emotional vulnerabilities and intimacy
• Developing skills, rituals, and practices for deepening emotional, physical, and spiritual connection and fulfillment

Additionally we offer individual or group coaching with regards to recovery after divorce/separation. A group programme would run for 10 weeks. This coaching support would help with people after a breakdown in their marriage or long term relationship, such as a couple living together for 10 years, as these people may require help with such things as:

• Confidence/self esteem building.
• Socialising or rediscovering hobbies/interests again.
• Dealing with limitting or self belief issues.
• Challenges with parenting now they are separated.

Please contact us for further details on this programme or with regards to any aspect of our relationship coaching.

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